I See You
by AllWasWellatPigfarts
Summary: Chuck left with Elle and Blair left with Carter because her world fell apart. Who will save her? AU after 218.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so this kind of came to me when i watched the Age of Dissonance (2x18) and it's what i think could possibly have happened if Chuck went away with Elle. I'm pretending that the second half of that story line didn't happen and Carter had nothing to do with it. I think it's plausible because even if she was just after money, i think being with Chuck Bass as an extra wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing to her. So yeah... enjoy and remember I hate Elle, but i felt that Chuck got away with it too easily and I may do a one shot where Blair chews him out for everything he did because she I think she would have been much more hurt than was shown on the show because of everything else that happened at the same time. Anyways... on with the story.

p.s. it's slightly AU so i may change some things that happened on the show before 218 but i will explain them in the story if i do.

xoxo

It had been two years since Chuck Bass left the Upper East Side. It had been two years since Blair lost everything. It had been 1 year and 8 months since Blair left the Upper East Side to travel the world with Carter Baizen. She wasn't happy, but who in this life truly was? She slept through the days and partied through the nights and it was tiring and left her unsatisfied but she had nothing else to do. So she continued, moving from continent to continent. She'd left the old Blair Waldorf behind and moved on to a freer, more careless lifestyle. She turned into one of those stories that she had always laughed snootily at when she was in her youth. Where the rich kid runs away, parties around the globe, spending money like it's going out of fashion and not giving a damn about what she left behind. Then again, why should she? They didn't give a damn about her.

Her father hadn't called when she lost yale, when her heart was breaking. He didn't even call for her graduation. She knew she had disappointed him the the whole teachergate, but hadn't she been punished enough? Of course her mother was still as distant as ever. She had gotten better with Cyrus around, true, but when her daughter became a disgrace in the eyes of society, there was nothing she couldn't criticise. Serena never found out that it wasn't Blair that sent the tip to Gossip Girl and so she felt she had reason to not talk to Blair. Of course it escalated like it always did with them and they Graduated without speaking a word to each other.

As for him. That was the icing on top of the dung heap that had become her life. The day her world had fallen apart, he had run away to Brazil with another woman. Vanessa had taken the pleasure in informing Blair that Chuck had claimed this woman as the most beautiful he had ever seen and left Blair to stew on the fact that she had tried desperately for months for him to say those three little words, she had comforted him, seen him at his worst, saved his life and loved him and simply because she couldn't take it anymore he abandoned her completely. She hadn't expected this at all. She thought eventually, hopefully not too far in the future they would have kissed and made up and finally given into what she thought the fates had been pushing them towards all along. But she supposed that was her own deluded fantasies, if he was able to move on only weeks after and care enough about this woman to leave his whole life behind.

It had hurt. It had hurt more than she cared to admit and suddenly she understood why Chuck and Serena and even Nate to a certain extent always turned to drugs and alcohol when life got to much. Sometimes it was impossible to feel that much and come out still sane. So she tried her best to forget.

Carter had been there. At first, she knew she was something to pass the time while he was in New York but when Blair asked to leave with him and he didn't say no, or even make fun of her, it was clear that it now meant more to him. Even if she prevented herself from feeling anymore she knew that she needed the companionship and expertise he offered while she lost herself for a while.

They were currently in Tuscany. They had ended up here after jumping on a friends private plane while drunk. It was the one place she had avoided, it brought back too many memories. Which was ironic considering that Chuck never actually made it to Tuscany with her but it didn't change the fact that every time Carter had suggested it she had turned him down point blank, refusing to explain why. Not that he didn't know of course. He knew who she was thinking about when her eyes took on that sad tint and looked off into the distance. He knew who she was thinking about when the tears fell onto the pillow, he knew who she was thinking about when she purged and he hated him.

Carter Baizen hated to admit it, even though he had done on a few occasions, but over the past two years he had fallen head over heels in love with Blair Waldorf and although many would say that this wasn't the real Blair Waldorf he knew that he was the only person in the entire world who still saw bits of that girl, and he loved her too. But he knew she'd never love him back.

That night they had gone to a club with a few friends and he noticed that Blair wasn't acting like herself, not even her party self. She was distracted and surprisingly quite sober and when he suggested they had back to the hotel he had been surprised that she had instantly agreed.

He was even more surprised when she kissed him in the limo. When she fucked him in the limo. Before, limos had always been off limits. She had made him promise that no matter how drunk or high she got that he would not have sex with her in a limo, but when she initiated in tonight, sober, he let it continue only asking if she was sure but she cut him off with a kiss and proceeded to remove his shirt. Now back at the hotel they made their way through the halls to their room. Their messy hair and mismatched clothes a clear indicator as to their previous activities.

She was about to put the key in the door when he turned her around and kissed her lips. It was gentle and patient and everything he felt he needed to be with her so that he didn't push her over the edge.

"I love you" he whispered and as was expected she winced.

"I told you to stop saying that" she ground out in a dangerous tone. "Love is a load of crap and I don't believe you anyway."

"Why are you so afraid of me just being here for you? Loving you?" He hated how much of a desperate girl he sounded when he pleaded with her like that but he wanted her to see that he wasn't going to abandon her. He wasn't Chuck fucking Bass, but then again maybe that was the problem.

"You don't love me Carter!" She laughed mockingly "I think the precedent has already been set that proves I'm impossible to love so spare me the sympathy act. That's all it is btw"

"You think that all this is is that I feel sorry for you? God Blair, do you think I would have stuck around for two years if all I felt for sympathy?" He shouted incredulously.

"That and I'm a good fuck." She spat back.

"You know what Blair, someday you're going to have to get over all your little issues and head back to your life and if you keep pushing everyone away there'll be no one left on your side."

"Don't you get it?" She screamed back. "There's already no one left on my side! Everyone I loved, everyone I though loved me, left. My parents, Serena, Nate, my so caled friends" she paused before whispering "Chuck. They all fucking left me without a second thought, without looking back." She stopped to catch her breath and contemplate what she had finally admitted out loud. It had consumed her thoughts for the past two years but she felt no relief now that she had admitted it. Instead she felt empty. Like everything that had kept her going, fuelled her hate and her self destruction was finally out there and now she was just a shell. She looked up at his face and saw the hurt, but didn't let it affect her. "There's no way that I am ever going back so you can either get over whatever it is you think you feel for me, or you leave me alone. For good."

"What? You think I'll abandon you just so you can drink, snort and purge your way into an early grave? Think again, Waldorf. You're still that ten year old girl who dreams of marrying her prince and living in her UES castle while bossing people around. You've fooled everyone, even yourself but you can't fool me. Blair Cornelia Waldorf, Queen B is still in there and she fights for everything she wants. This is just a phase. Eventually you'll see I'm right."

She stared at him in shock. Disbelief marred her features and she stared into his eyes. They were set with determination and belief and she never thought that she would be the one to crush Carter Baizen's ideals. "You're wrong." She spoke but it sounded weak even to her ears. "And even you're not. It's not like you'd ever be my prince."

With that she turned away down the hall. Leaving him and the surprised couple who had silently heard their argument behind.

xoxo

A/N: Okay so that's the first chapter. I hope you like it, it's going to be quite angsty and Blair is not going to be like she is on the show. Think 219 times a hundred... and can anyone guess who the couple is??? dun dun dun.

Review kiddies. They make me smile.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I decided to upload another chapter right now because i'm bored. Plus it could probably have been part of chapter one anyway.

xoxo

Chuck looked out across the sea from where he was lying on the beach. Elle was next to him trying to get a tan and he smiled softly when he looked her. It was times like these when he almost forgot he had a life before he met her, not that there was much of it left of course. His father was dead, he had no family and Blair had given up on him. The Upper East Side still existed though, it carried on and he couldn't help but wonder how everyone was. He could tell himself that he didn't care but that wasn't true. He missed them all and he also knew that he would have to go back soon, Lily could not stay running Bass Industries forever. He'd kept track through the board and they had agreed to let him take over when he turned 21 and that wasn't too long now.

When he left he never looked back. He thought about them, yes, but he never looked into what they were doing or how they were. It was easier to stay away if he didn't know anything about them. He needed this time to truly find himself. Away from New York and the business to make sure that he was fully ready when he took over. Elle of course was reluctant to go back but he had managed to persuade her eventually, one part of the agreement however had been that they come to Tuscany. She had always wanted to come and saw this as her chance to convince Chuck as he had always been so stoic about it before.

He hadn't wanted to come to Tuscany, it felt like he was disrespecting his last and only memory of Tuscany. That being that he never actually came. He also knew that if he came to Tuscany he would be haunted by thoughts of her. How she was, if she'd found someone new at college, if she'd forgotten all about him. He'd moved on, with Elle. Or at least he had convinces himself that he had. It was times like this that he truly doubted it.

They spent the day at the beach, rubbing lotion on each others bodies, a quickie in the ocean behind the rocks and then headed back to the hotel. They ate in the hotel's restaurant and had drinks in the bar before they headed back up to their room. They were on the top floor where there were two rooms, each occupying half of the space of this floor of the luxury hotel. As they stepped out into the hallway that ran through the middle separating the two rooms they saw a couple kissing against the other door but they abruptly stopped. Elle assumed that they had heard them arrive but neither the man or the woman looked around, instead an argument started. Chuck and Elle carried on walking slowly. It would be awkward but they would get into their room and the couple could have their fight in peace.

"Why are you so afraid of me just being here for you? Loving you?" They heard the man raise his voice and felt a bit of sympathy, Elle quickly made sure the key card was in her hand so they could make a quick exit.

"You don't love me Carter! I think the precedent has already been set that proves I'm impossible to love so spare me the sympathy act. That's all it is btw"

Chuck froze and as soon as Elle noticed she stopped with him, giving him a questioning look but he stared transfixed at the scene in front of him. Blair. He hadn't seen her for two years and it had been longer since they talked. What was she doing in Tuscany in the middle of the academic year, with Carter Baizen no less.

"You think that all this is is that I feel sorry for you? God Blair, do you think I would have stuck around for two years if all I felt for sympathy?"

Chuck was confused. Blair had been with Carter for two years. There were so many questions running through his mind right now and he couldn't grasp the scene in front of him. It was so wrong. Blair looked terrible. Still beautiful to him, but she was wearing a short black dress that he would never have expected to be seen on her, old Serena maybe, but definitely not Blair Waldorf. She was skinny, too skinny and her hair was a mess. What the fuck was going on?

"That and I'm a good fuck." He heard her say. Elle was still watching him, wondering why he couldn't stop staring at this couple but he couldn't even try to move his feet so away from them, and if he was going to go anywhere it would have to be down the elevator and back to the bar and then Elle would know that there was definitely something wrong.

"You know what Blair, someday you're going to have to get over all your little issues and head back to your life and if you keep pushing everyone away there'll be no one left on your side." As Carter said it more questions started spinning in Chucks head. What issues? What had happened after he left?

"Don't you get it?" She screamed it so loudly that Elle jumped back in surprise, not expecting such volume from such a small person, but Chuck stayed frozen.

"There's already no one left on my side! Everyone I loved, everyone I thought loved me, left. My parents, Serena, Nate, my so called friends" she paused before whispering "Chuck. They all fucking left me without a second thought, without looking back."

That tore through his heart and Elle's expression turned to shock, realising that this wasn't just some random couple and remembering where she had seen that man before. He had been a part of the club, the man she had gone on the date with when she bumped into Chuck again. She looked at the girl and wondered who she was and if Chuck had ever talked about her, but the only girl she could remember him talking about was his step-sister Serena, but she knew that Serena was blonde and tall and this girl wasn't and more importantly it was clear from her tone of voice that she didn't think of Chuck as a brother.

"There's no way that I am ever going back so you can either get over whatever it is you think you feel for me, or you leave me alone. For good."

They stood listening to the rest of their argument, Chuck still trying to piece together what had happened to Blair, with very little success. The only thing that he could make out was that it had not gone to plan.

"What? You think I'll abandon you just so you can drink, snort and purge your way into an early grave?" Chuck almost cried as Carter said this. The Blair in front of him was almost like him, Serena and Blair at their very worst wrapped into one. It was too much for one person and it definitely should have never happened to Blair. She didn't do drugs, she barely got drunk. She hated being out of control. None of it made any sense. "Think again, Waldorf. You're still that ten year old girl who dreams of marrying her prince and living in her UES castle while bossing people around. You've fooled everyone, even yourself but you can't fool me. Blair Cornelia Waldorf, Queen B is still in there and she fights for everything she wants. This is just a phase. Eventually you'll see I'm right."

"You're wrong." Her voice sounded so weak. So scared. So lost. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to run to her and wrap his arms around her and save her but he didn't know how. "And even you're not. It's not like you'd ever be my prince."

As she walked away he watched her go. He wanted to run after as she headed for the stairs. He wondered why she hadn't turned to take the elevator but he couldn't say that he wasn't thankful. He needed time to digest this, to find out what happened, to figure out a way to save her. He watched as Carter punched the wall and felt a little sympathy for the guy. Blair clearly meant a lot to him but she wasn't going to help herself and she wasn't going to let him help her. It was a difficult place to be. All he could do was watch as she slowly killed herself knowing that she didn't even feel enough for him to save herself for his sake.

Carter opened his door and went in once the door clicked shut, Chuck felt the feeling return to his feet and he continued their journey down the hallway. Elle following curiously wanting to know who the couple was. Once they were safely inside their suite she turned to him.

"Who was the girl? I recognised the guy eventually but the girl, she meant something to you didn't she." Elle's voice grated on his nerved more than it ever had before and he shot her a look that told her he didn't want to talk, but she didn't take the hint.

"She's from New York, isn't she? An old friend perhaps? But I'm guessing it was more than that though, judging by the way she said your name. But I thought you said that you were leaving no one behind, that no one would care. She clearly cared, alot. And she seems to be into everything you are, or were at least but what was that about purging-"

"Just shut up" He spoke in a deadly voice as he poured himself a drink before downing it.

"Just tell me who she was, Chuck" Elle said softly, trying not to anger him. Truthfully she never quite knew how to deal with him when he wasn't happy. She couldn't get in his head and she couldn't understand him but it didn't bother her too much. She could just leave him alone when he got like that, he seemed to appreciate it. But not this time, she needed to know who this girl was so she could make sure that she wouldn't mess everything up. Elle planned very much on becoming the next Mrs. Bass and no messed up kid was going to ruin that for her. She cared about Chuck, obviously she did, she loved him, but the fact that he was a billionaire was not off putting either.

"Blair's a friend. That's all. We were pretty close at one point but we drifted apart. Nothing to worry about." He muttered as he kissed her on the cheek. "Go in to bed. I'll be there in a while" he said distractedly. She blanched. He kissed her on the cheek. The cheek! Something was definitely up. This girl was affecting him way more than was acceptable but she would need to figure out what to do and if she stayed bothering Chuck it would probably make it all worse.

"Okay, love you."

Chuck tried to smile as she headed to the bedroom but he knew that all he had managed was a grimace. Suddenly the easy I love you's that he and Elle had been trading for almost two years seemed blasphemous. He knew seeing Blair again would affect him, but he had never expected this. He had expected to find her happy, at Yale and possibly engaged to some aspiring Lawyer or politician, but not this. Never this.

The words snort, purge, drink swirled around his brain and he felt as if he would throw up. Blair Waldorf was no longer Blair Waldorf. Knowing this broke the restraint he had. He had to help her. He forgot completely about the woman in the next room, he needed to focus on Blair. He needed to save her like she had done for him when she brought him down from the roof. He had never thanked her and this was how he had to do it. The irony that he met her in Tuscany was not lost on him either. It was almost as if fate had pulled them together because he was sure that while on her travels she had had avoided Tuscany as vehemently as he had done, probably more so.

Deciding that she had to come before his vow of silence, Chuck picked up his phone and selected a number that he hadn't used in a long long time. He bounced his knee as the phone rang, he had no idea what time it was in New York but he had to do this now. Finally the call was answered.

"Chuck?"

"Eric, I need you to tell me everything that happened to Blair after I left."


	3. Chapter 3

"Eric, I need you to tell me everything that happened to Blair after I left."

"Well hello Chuck, long time no speak" Eric said bitterly with more than just a hint of sarcasm.

Chuck sighed "Eric, I'm sorry but please, I need to know."

"Why the sudden interest now? Did you suddenly grow a conscience?" Eric carried on.

"I saw her. She's a mess. God, Eric, what the fuck happened?" Chuck shuddered as he thought about how she looked and he stopped himself from replaying the conversation before he drove himself crazy thinking of all the possibilities.

"She lost everything." Eric paused.

"Stop being cryptic. Tell me what happened?" Chuck demanded. Eric sighed, Chuck had just used the threatening 'I'm Chuck Bass' voice. He'd never used that voice on him before so he figured it was time to tell Chuck everything and maybe ignore for the moment that he had abandoned him to.

"Yale rescinded their offer." Eric started.

"Why?"

"Chuck just let me tell the story without interrupting, it'll get too confusing. Anyway, Yale rescinded their offer because they found out she hazed Miss Carr after she gave her a B and refused to give her the senior free pass. Then Gossip Girl sent out a blast telling everyone that Marcus was sleeping with the Duchess and Blair ignored it but Blair didn't actually ignore it. Then there was another blast about how Serena only got into Yale for the publicity and after what happened Serena thought that Blair sent it and they had a fight. It was a pretty bad one and it carried on like their fights always did and just got worse and worse until it was the final straw and they just stopped talking. They didn't even do graduation together and Blair left that night. After Blair left, Dan told us that Miss Carr did all that stuff, that's why it was all targeted at Blair."

"Okay, what else?" Chuck asked, nervously. He knew that would be enough to push Blair over the edge but not as far as she was, there had to be more.

"Well, after Harold found out that Blair started the rumour about Miss Carr and Dan with no evidence he left New York. All I know is that their last conversation wasn't a good one and he didn't call her after that. I doubt she's spoken to her since then and of course Eleanor didn't react well to everything that happened and was really harsh to Blair, but it was like every way that she had used to gain her parents approval was gone, so she stopped bothering. She started seeing Carter more especially since she wasn't talking to Serena and" Eric stopped himself. That was enough, surely Chuck would think that that was enough, he didn't need to tell him that he was probably the thing that pushed her over the edge and Blair definitely wouldn't want him to know that.

"And I abandoned her."

"You said it, not me." Eric sighed, thinking it was stupid to think that Chuck wouldn't already think he was the biggest reason. It was good to know that his ego hadn't shrunk, quite reassuring actually.

"How did she find out? How did she react?" Chuck asked urgently.

"I don't want to guilt trip you or make you feel bad or anything but it was bad. After the school play was over she came by the apartment."

Chuck waited, wondering if she found the letter he left on the kitchen counter, it was meant for Lily but he didn't put a name on it and he knew that Blair was nosy enough to open an unmarked envelope in someone else's apartment.

"She waited in your room for you to come back. You didn't."

Chuck let out a breath, trying to imagine how upset she would have been, just waiting in his bedroom for him, waiting for him to just be there. The way she was for him.

"Mom read your letter and when we realised that she was in your room we didn't know how to tell her but Serena was still angry so she wasn't gentle. Blair didn't believe her at first but then Nate and Vanessa came by to see Serena and well, Blair had pissed Vanessa off as well so when they mentioned Elle she told Blair how you said she was the most-"

"Beautiful woman I'd ever seen" Chuck muttered shamefully.

"When Nate didn't deny it Blair stormed out, not before a few choice words to everyone there of course. That was the final push. She loved you, Chuck. She was hurt but she hadn't given up. She just needed a little time but that night she needed you and you had run away. With another woman. You made it seem like she meant nothing to you, like she was less that some woman you'd met once at some gentleman's club." Eric told him emphatically.

"I didn't want that. I thought she would be better off without me. I thought she was done. She told me she was done." Chuck ended up shouting angrily.

"And you honestly believed her?" Eric shouted back. "After she told you that she loved you!"

"It's what she said!"

"It's not what she felt!"

Chuck sighed, he was arguing a point that he didn't even believe himself anymore. He got so caught up in all the mystery and excitement with Elle and the idea of getting away seemed such a good one, but now he wished he could have been there for Blair and then maybe she would have been fine. Truth be told, he had fun with Elle but he never felt for her what he felt for Blair. Maybe that's why he had told her he loved her back when she said it to him. He knew it wouldn't hurt as much if she left, he wouldn't be really be vulnerable with her, not like it would have been with Blair. He knew that when he finally told her, and he had planned to tell her eventually, he would have to be ready to dive in head first and be with her completely. Be ready to tell her everything and give her his whole heart and his whole soul, but he wasn't ready then. He still hated himself too much and he didn't want her to hate him too, at least anymore than she already did.

"Chuck?" Eric asked after quite a while of silence.

"I'm here" he whispered.

"Are you coming home soon?" Eric asked.

"Soon little brother, but not until I can get Blair to come back with me."

"I don't know if she'll let you save her. She was pretty bad before she left and it's been two years since she left-"

"We both know I'm not the saving type but I will bring Blair back to New York if I have to drag her." Chuck stated dangerously.

"See you soon, Chuck" Eric said and he hung up. He walked out of his room into the living room where his family were having the weekly family dinner. The family now consisted of the Van der Woodsens and the Humphrey's. It had been difficult when Rufus, Jenny and Dan had first moved in, especially as Serena was still angry that Dan had waited so long to tell her that Blair didn't send the tip to Gossip Girl because he was trying to cover up his own mistake. They had eventually made up but the transition wasn't as smooth as it could have been. Eric missed Chuck and none of the Humphrey's could understand that. They found it even harder to understand why Lily was so worried about him and also missed him so much.

As usual, they were also joined by Vanessa and Nate. The two had split amicably while on their backpacking trip through Europe and now Nate was dating Serena and Vanessa was dating Dan. Eric pulled out his seat and joined them.

"Sweetie you're late, were you talking to Jonathan?" Lily hinted playfully but when Eric didn't answer they all turned to look at him.

"Erm, no actually" he cleared his throat. "Chuck called."

"What?" Lily exclaimed. "Is he coming home?"

"He is soon but he actually called about Blair. He saw her and he didn't say exactly but it was bad enough for him to call me and ask what happened."

"Oh no" Lily whimpered softly.

"He's going to bring her with him." He said "Even if he has to drag her" he added with a slight smirk.

The table was silent each immersed in their own thoughts. All of them felt some guilt over Blair, Serena and Nate knew that they were supposed to be her friends but they didn't help her during her worst time and Dan and Vanessa knew that they had done or not done something that made everything worse. They were all relieved to know she was still alive but they wanted her and Chuck home. They needed to fix things. The Upper East Side wasn't the same without Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass.

"Well, it's about time" Lily finally said.


End file.
